Transgender Detroit thousand days journey
Well feeling like there should be an update here since I have left the state of Indiana for Michigan.
It all started out good I had a good job, and then I had a day from heck that I had to make a decision and I made one but as usuall I am making bad choices for my sef and not really thinking about them but rather acting on my feelings about things.
My spuse and I had kept in touch untill I moved to Michigan she has since decided to stop communicating with me. I moved to the detroit area after talking and meeting a guy yes a guy. This guy said the right things and had me intersted based on his conversations. since I had ben transistioning for several years off and on again I decided that I was willing to take the next step and open my self up to a relationship with a guy. Besides it was hard to figure out how to be a lesbien with a Penis.
So I met him and he was a talkative type guy and then the strangest thing happened, he held my hand and I got all tingly about it I had not felt this way befor. I had to really think about this and it was wierd but I was ok with this. I was all ready adjusting to having guys open doors for me and getting getted with hello miss. But this was the frst time a guy was openly willing to hold my hand and sit with me and talk about any thing I wanted, well at least I felt that way on the first date.
Later he came down to visit me and things were good for the most part then but as time went on he became very posesswive and demanding and controling of me. Not a single thing I tried to do seemed to please him he was very moody, and even irritable. But I dismissed those things as him being tired, or me not thinking about how my words might sound to others. Well during this time he asks me to be his steady girl and I of coarse so flatered and him being the first guy that has show an interest in me I said yes. "That would turn out to be a big mistake."
Later about a month down the road I move in with him leaving my apartment and my saftey net trusting him to help me get adjusted and to provide a safe place with little to no stress over bills or any thihng other thn my own expenses for fuel. He even helped me to unpack and unload the car. but that same day that very first day he was demanding things from me and was puching me around mentally telling me that I needed to do some things that i really did not desire to do. well to make things worst Wendy and I happened to be dealing with a few money issues around this time and he wanted me to cut her completly off. But then after doing that Wendy said she would never talk with me again, and several months still since then she has not talked directly with me to this date. I have lost a long time friend, and relationship that i am not shure how to recover from that it was mentally crippling but my new boyfriend did not care. He continued to be demanding and belittle me and then became more verbally agressive at every thing I did it did not even matter if Iwas asleep I was wrong he had be come abusive in a matter of a week and a few days I found my self trying to stay out of the apartment with him and find things to do during the day just to stay out and away from him.
It finally came down to a day when I came home that he was being all pissy again about nothing important and he was complaining because I was getting over heated in his hot ass muggy apartment and I needed the fan to keep cool. He was a complete ass and I had dealt with it long enough in all my years on the face of this earth I had never been so disrespected, so belittled, and I was not going to stay any longer and take his abuse.
I told him I needed some fresh are to think about thinbgs and then I went to my car and started making phone calls. dueing my brief stay with him over the coarse of a week I had given him over $300 to cover electric bills and I even put the cable and internet in myu name but he was not graitfull at all about what I had done and in fact he had become even more of an ass about things saying stuff like when his money comes in he was gona treat me to this or that.. I really did not care but I figured if it maks him feel better about him self who am I to stop him from having a little fun.
But at this point I did not care I was ready to leave the only problem was that I only had about $100 and no way to get home or to get all my stuff out in one trip. He was barley nice enough to let me leave what I could not take demanding that I leave the cable and internet on along with my computer for him to use. if I took my computer I could tell he was going to trow out my stuff so I tried to apease him one last time and left those thing that he so demanded. I was crying the whole time just trying to get my stuff together and to pack it and still not shure were or how my life would go and if he pushed me to hard if I might snap and really tell him what I thought and him yelling at me and I feared for my saftey but had to get my stuff together to get out.
After getting as much in my car as I could only about half of my stuff, I left. I just drove around for awhile while I tried to think things through and I thought so this is my life now, a homeless transexual is not going to do well in this world. Luckly for me I had acctully done some leg work in the area and tried to get involved doing volunteer work on one of those days I was trying to stay away from him and the apartment. I met another trans woman who worked at a GLBT community center and I had a good conversation with her but would she be willing or even able to help me in my new situation? I had to try. I called her up "Rachelle, I need your help. I said." she said "Who is this?" I was hoping that she might remember me and i explained my current predicament. Well she told me she might no some one that could help and she gave me their number to call. I called this person out of the blue, I was so desperate I needed help and I told them my current situation and they listened with some aprehension in their voice I asked for their help.
I explained that I had gotten their number from a friend and that they thought I should talk with them.
Well they agreed to meet me and they said I coul stay with them for a few days but they had some one to move in to the room already and that they would need to have the space.. I was ok with that since I just did not want to be home less, and figured in a couple days I might be able to get help from family to get money enough to go back to Indiana..
More to come the rest of the story..!
It all started out good I had a good job, and then I had a day from heck that I had to make a decision and I made one but as usuall I am making bad choices for my sef and not really thinking about them but rather acting on my feelings about things.
My spuse and I had kept in touch untill I moved to Michigan she has since decided to stop communicating with me. I moved to the detroit area after talking and meeting a guy yes a guy. This guy said the right things and had me intersted based on his conversations. since I had ben transistioning for several years off and on again I decided that I was willing to take the next step and open my self up to a relationship with a guy. Besides it was hard to figure out how to be a lesbien with a Penis.
So I met him and he was a talkative type guy and then the strangest thing happened, he held my hand and I got all tingly about it I had not felt this way befor. I had to really think about this and it was wierd but I was ok with this. I was all ready adjusting to having guys open doors for me and getting getted with hello miss. But this was the frst time a guy was openly willing to hold my hand and sit with me and talk about any thing I wanted, well at least I felt that way on the first date.
Later he came down to visit me and things were good for the most part then but as time went on he became very posesswive and demanding and controling of me. Not a single thing I tried to do seemed to please him he was very moody, and even irritable. But I dismissed those things as him being tired, or me not thinking about how my words might sound to others. Well during this time he asks me to be his steady girl and I of coarse so flatered and him being the first guy that has show an interest in me I said yes. "That would turn out to be a big mistake."
Later about a month down the road I move in with him leaving my apartment and my saftey net trusting him to help me get adjusted and to provide a safe place with little to no stress over bills or any thihng other thn my own expenses for fuel. He even helped me to unpack and unload the car. but that same day that very first day he was demanding things from me and was puching me around mentally telling me that I needed to do some things that i really did not desire to do. well to make things worst Wendy and I happened to be dealing with a few money issues around this time and he wanted me to cut her completly off. But then after doing that Wendy said she would never talk with me again, and several months still since then she has not talked directly with me to this date. I have lost a long time friend, and relationship that i am not shure how to recover from that it was mentally crippling but my new boyfriend did not care. He continued to be demanding and belittle me and then became more verbally agressive at every thing I did it did not even matter if Iwas asleep I was wrong he had be come abusive in a matter of a week and a few days I found my self trying to stay out of the apartment with him and find things to do during the day just to stay out and away from him.
It finally came down to a day when I came home that he was being all pissy again about nothing important and he was complaining because I was getting over heated in his hot ass muggy apartment and I needed the fan to keep cool. He was a complete ass and I had dealt with it long enough in all my years on the face of this earth I had never been so disrespected, so belittled, and I was not going to stay any longer and take his abuse.
I told him I needed some fresh are to think about thinbgs and then I went to my car and started making phone calls. dueing my brief stay with him over the coarse of a week I had given him over $300 to cover electric bills and I even put the cable and internet in myu name but he was not graitfull at all about what I had done and in fact he had become even more of an ass about things saying stuff like when his money comes in he was gona treat me to this or that.. I really did not care but I figured if it maks him feel better about him self who am I to stop him from having a little fun.
But at this point I did not care I was ready to leave the only problem was that I only had about $100 and no way to get home or to get all my stuff out in one trip. He was barley nice enough to let me leave what I could not take demanding that I leave the cable and internet on along with my computer for him to use. if I took my computer I could tell he was going to trow out my stuff so I tried to apease him one last time and left those thing that he so demanded. I was crying the whole time just trying to get my stuff together and to pack it and still not shure were or how my life would go and if he pushed me to hard if I might snap and really tell him what I thought and him yelling at me and I feared for my saftey but had to get my stuff together to get out.
After getting as much in my car as I could only about half of my stuff, I left. I just drove around for awhile while I tried to think things through and I thought so this is my life now, a homeless transexual is not going to do well in this world. Luckly for me I had acctully done some leg work in the area and tried to get involved doing volunteer work on one of those days I was trying to stay away from him and the apartment. I met another trans woman who worked at a GLBT community center and I had a good conversation with her but would she be willing or even able to help me in my new situation? I had to try. I called her up "Rachelle, I need your help. I said." she said "Who is this?" I was hoping that she might remember me and i explained my current predicament. Well she told me she might no some one that could help and she gave me their number to call. I called this person out of the blue, I was so desperate I needed help and I told them my current situation and they listened with some aprehension in their voice I asked for their help.
I explained that I had gotten their number from a friend and that they thought I should talk with them.
Well they agreed to meet me and they said I coul stay with them for a few days but they had some one to move in to the room already and that they would need to have the space.. I was ok with that since I just did not want to be home less, and figured in a couple days I might be able to get help from family to get money enough to go back to Indiana..
More to come the rest of the story..!
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